Good Bye February!

We get hurt multiple times & keep running back to the same people.We love hard & hurt hard. We care too much. We’re never understood. We go through so much trouble when we don’t even notice. We hear what people say about us & sometimes we break inside. But no matter what, even after everything, we have to come out strong. We have to put a big smile on our faces and pretend like everything’s okay. We love even though we know we shouldn’t & we wait for something that’ll never happen. We’re so much more than what you think. So much more than what we seem. A very random post to end my entry for the month of February. Good Bye February! You certainly proved that I know how to pack a lot of stuff into a short month.

You're the apple to my pie.

So we've only known each other for a couple of years, but I feel I've known you my whole life. I've seen you grow. I've watched you change from the guy who couldn't make up his mind, who's feelings changed more than I knew was possible, to the guy you are now. *grins* You're responsible, devoted, loyal, considerate & loving. Everything I knew you were & know you always will be. I've seen everything, your anger, your battles, your struggles, your fears. I know you by heart. I know your values, I know your story, I know your secrets.

I still believe that, with all of my heart. I am still in this. I said I was in for the long haul & I am still striving everyday for our time. I'm not going down without a fight. I won't give up easy. These feelings are stronger than anything that could try to bring us down. I love you more than I thought I did.

You take the both of us,And we're the perfect two.

Happy Burfday Papa!

Dad for all those times, I left it unsaid,Thank You.
Thanks for being there for me.
For being patient with me even when I made it difficult for you.
For believing in me & encouraging me.
For all of my childhood memories.
For helping me deal with life's stresses.
For helping me accept my defeats.
For teaching me the value of hard work,good judgment, courage & being true
For the laughter, smiles & quiet times we've shared.
Did I ever thank you? 

If I have forgotten, I'm thanking you now.

So many wonderful moments we have spent together.
So many wonderful years in all kinds of weather.
You taught me right from wrong.
I hope you know how much you're loved & appreciated.
I hope you, instinctively, knew it all along.

 

xoxo

In between.

ℬℯℓℓℯ ℬℯℓℓℯ is standing on a line between giving up & seeing how much more she can take. 

 

You & I collide.

I've realized that to prove love, it is not about how long you’ve been together / how close / happy you are. It is in how many times you argue & reconcile & encounter differences but still choose to be with each other. You're always lighting up my heart with the things you do & say. I'm happy just being with you this way. You make me feel loved & worthy of love. Thank you for loving me.Your affection is so important to me especially rite now. Misunderstandings are inevitable. You cannot avoid stepping on each others toes. The only thing you can do is to be as considerate as possible & apologize when you have wronged her / him. I’ve realized that it’s possible to do what people would normally label as indignifying & do out it of hope & love.

I love him enough to say it here. I love him enough to tell him this myself & most of all, I love myself enough to give myself a chance at something that could be beautiful.

The last key.

This battlefield is getting more & more furious day by day. I'm beginning to lose grip to everything. Sigh! Oh life. However Belle Belle is not gonna give up just like that. I will work harder & smarter & will fight for what's worth fighting for. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock they always say. I've to figure out how to find the keys within my heart & mind in order to unlock each new gate.

It's a fact that many of us have experienced the rough ride to nowhere. We put so much passion & efforts in the life direction we want but we still don't seem to get there. I believe it is important before you quit / even before you start anything,  be clear that what you are trying to achieve is something that you really want in life & which will ultimately propel you forward to your end goal.

I hate this part right here.

 

18.02.2011

You know he really cares when he asks what’s wrong & when you tell him nothing, he stays there waiting for the real reason.

Life's philosophy.

I believe that by being positive & staying focused on your own success, it might just create a chain of events, but you see that is something you don't deal with BUT allow it to happen on its own, whether you like it/not. The hardest part is to be assured that things will work out on its own & not everything can be achieved within your own hands. Sometimes we have to let go of things we want/people we love in order to explore & find ourselves, & most importantly to have faith that we will find ourselves amongst the chaos & distractions. DON'T get me wrong, I'm not letting go of anyone / anything. I'm just pointing out life's philosophy.

Satisfaction is not when I have everything I want. It's when I feel happy about everything I have & my value as a person is not measured with the things I own. My past encounters with people & situations made me who I am, but my thoughts & believes will determine my future. When I plan for my life, it's better to set standards & qualities & time-scheduling. However,sometimes opportunities come in unexpected times. As the saying goes, "Expect the unexpected, predict the unpredictable". 

He who knows others is learned; he who knows himself is wise ;)

Good day || Bad day.

People smile when they wanna cry.They laugh when they wanna scream/shout. They pretend like nothing is wrong because they don’t wanna face the truth. It's not always rainbows & butterflies. Sometimes you gotta scream & cry your anger & sadness to the world, because you can only hold it in for so long before something in you snaps. So peeps, when you wanna cry, cry. When you wanna scream, scream. Don’t hide behind fake smiles. It’s okay to not be alright.

Never enough.

Is it true then that all we have and want is a never ending cycle of hoping for what we wish we had? Can we just be in the moment without ever needing/wanting more?*ponders blankly*Okay I suppose we should all look forward, we should all expect more & that it should never be enough to have enough. Make sense?

V-Day!

Valentine's day shouldn't stand out too much from other days as you should be treating your partner & loved ones good all the time. *Blessed Valentine's* ♡

 xoxo

Break a leg.

Paper in less than 24 hours. Lotsa luck needed. Break a leg!

Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst.

Self assesment.

I believe I live sparingly, afraid of mistakes & trusting people. I've been inspired to see beyond just myself & to appreciate everything I have - my family, my home, you, my friend, my dog, everyone & everything else. My life has always had reasons in which I dont really know how to explain. I believe it is people - family, you, friends, acquaintances & "chance" encounters which have always inspired me, mold me & made me who I am today.

Recently, I found myself thinking more about my attitudes in life. The way I receive & react to certain situations. I found that I am truly an irrational person at times & that my reactions are pretty impulsive. I've also begun to see the need to act as an individual & to do things for myself, instead of worrying about how to please/satisfy others. 

Years from now I'll look back & laugh at the crazy & reckless things I did. I don't wanna look back years from now & never be able to see myself struggle & to find happy endings. We may believe that we deserve something, but if we don't speak up, say something/do anything to even move an inch closer to what we want, the chances are, nothing is going to change. This is a pretty random post I know. So yea. Good Day peeps! xx 

What does it mean to be somebody?

Tough decisions & limited options.

Decisions are always the hardest to make.Sigh.

DON'T.

DON’T

Don’t care so much for me,

I may get used to it.

Don’t come so near to me,

I may not be able to detach from it.

Don’t put so much faith in me,

I may not be able to handle it.

Don’t touch me the way u do,

I may not be able to get over it.

Don’t become a part of my life,

Coz without u, I won’t be able to live it.

Don’t make me fall for u,

I may not be able to fall out of it.

Don’t come into my life,

If u have to leave one day.

Don’t give me the hope,

That it’s forever u r gonna stay.

Coz love is an emotion

I won’t be able to hide,

When love isn’t reciprocated with love,

It hurts deep down inside.

Don’t start something

That I won’t be able to end.

 

Thanx for sharing this with me A.B.

Like heavy clouds in the sky.

You don't always have to win your battles, but it's good to know you fought

I am who I am.

 

I believe that when people shut their minds and shut their hearts, they will refuse to understand you.

Emotional Destruction.

You got to admit that sometimes it's better to leave things unsaid & unknown.What's the point of bringing them up if argument is the only consequences? Perhaps, it's because of different living environment, different personality, different maturity, different perspectives & whatsoever. Desperation sets in making me go into depression.

Note : Even you stand up with your greatest strength & speak it out loud, there's no guarantee that you gonna get the responses that you've expected.

Silence is a girl's loudest cry.

We'll be okay.

Distance has always been an issue for the both of us. The weekends without seeing each other, the arguments because of our frustration. I've come to realize, that the one thing that got us through, was not the lovey-dovey text messages / phone calls / the promises that we believed in. It was the fact, that we knew we would hold each other again & we would be okay.